Actors and Mommies

Nobody likes actors. Only children and other mommies like mommies.

I know these are blanket statements, but in my experience there is truth to both statements. Actors and mommies have a certain behavior in common. Often they are obsessed with only one thing and can talk about little else.

I should amend those statements to refer to young actors and mommies of babies and toddlers. Young actors are often taking classes and hitting the pavement to build a career. It is so all encompassing that every waking moment of the day is about networking, auditioning, working and wanting. They spend their time talking business, dropping names and looking for a good photographer and an agent. Mommies that stay at home with their babies are often isolated and consumed with the care of this new human being. They spend their time looking for fellowship with other mommies and are often distracted from other pursuits by the demanding and monotonous schedule of feedings and naps.

I have been both of these things. When I was a young actor, I didn't think much about mommies except that they were my bread and butter as a Gymboree Instructor and babysitter. As the mommy of a small child I hated actors because I tired rather quickly of their name dropping discussions and their fair weather friendships. Since I had dropped out of the game as a producer and as a working actor, I was no longer of any interest or use to other actors. I couldn't give them any leads or bring them in on any projects because I wasn't out there myself. When you switch from one to the other, you learn who your real friends are pretty damn quick.

In rehearsals Ben and I were discussing my character's 28 cats. He tentatively suggested that my character's strange adoration for her cats was not unlike the early days of my mommydom when I couldn't talk of anything else except my son. At first, I was horribly insulted. Mostly because I knew it was true. Then I realized that one of the things I need to learn in life is how to expand my world. I may be an actor. I may be a mommy. But those need not be the only things I am.

I feel I've become a better artist as since I've expanded my emotional world to include a small one. I've become a better mommy that I'm no longer pushing my artistic needs aside. As much as high school was a painfully huge bore, it was also an incredibly expansive time in my life. I was forced to consider other things. Life narrows considerably after you leave school. You can get soft, wimpy and dull.

I'm coming to the conclusion that this is not good for art. I look around and see complacency as the order of the day. The search for comfort has eclipsed the grander search for meaning and connection. What is comfort but simply getting by? Is that really how we want to lead our lives? Or do we blow Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs to hell? Obsession is just another way to hide from life, to hide from self. The business of acting, the business of mothering or whatever you may be into needs to be put into a perspective that allows the artist to move into the larger sphere of the world. By all means, use your base of knowledge and passion as a means to understand the world but go out and actually try to understand the world- not just your one tiny part of it.

I'm worried about the constant act of separating one's self from the world. We try to stand out, to be special by being separate when what is most special about us just might be that which connects us to the world. We would be remiss in our duties as humans, as artists to ignore the gifts that communicate our togetherness. Especially with the world as it is today. We should have a whole that is greater than the sum of our parts.

I am looking to expand my world in ways that are somewhat uncomfortable. I am looking to do things that frighten me just a little bit. I am going to learn many things this year.

Welcome to 2007.