Monday, November 24, 2008

Having Fun...

All right. I've narrowed my decision down to two texts. I'm not ready for the big reveal yet... I'd like to finish re-reading them before I get started on the nitty-gritty. With the holidays and all, I don't have too much time to spare. In fact, I've been trying to get a couple of hours to myself for the last 4 days and have been wildly unsuccessful.

Rest assured. I will make good on my promise. After Turkey Day I will announce the text I will be working with and start with the good stuff.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Let's Have Some Fun

To quote one of my favorite Kids in the Hall sketches, "I'm in a rut deep enough to hang up posters."

I am. I knew this was coming the day I peed on the stick. I knew that the first year of favored son #2's life would be marked by two things that make me supremely miserable, 1) lack of personal time 2) a monotonous routine of much dreaded, mind-numbing tasks. So I have decided to keep up both my spirits and my chops by taking up a dense script and difficult character to study in my "spare time". I will use this blog to work out some of my thoughts on text and character step by step. It'll be fun!

Now, all that remains is for me to choose a text and a character. I could play with Macbeth- that's always a favorite of mine. It's dark, sexy and it challenges the actor to create humans from monsters. That's a favorite theme for me. I'd do Richard III, but Pacino already covered that and I don't think I could add much more. There's always Tennessee Williams. (God, I'm old enough to play Blanche! Yikes!) Or maybe I could get into some Lorca. I've been meaning to pick up Yerma for a while, perhaps now is as good a time as any? Then there's The House of Bernarda Alba, which would give me the rare opportunity to look at multiple female characters. Chekhov is always a good exercise in building given circumstances. Maybe I should look at Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Martha would be a big challenge for me.

I'm going to sit on it for a day and then commit myself to studying the play I choose and preparing some text for myself to work on its feet. I will detail my process step by step. I've never tried to document my process before. Perhaps I will find some gaping holes in my methodology. Maybe I will find a way to communicate the process in a personal and definitive way. One thing is certain... I will be making time to fit something very important into my crazy, boring days.

Holy bananas. I am really looking forward to this!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Dear Obama,

Last night was amazing. It has been a long time since I have felt so good, and you... you said all the right things. I think I got carried away in the moment. We both did. We said a lot of things to one another in the heat of the moment. I don't regret them. Not at all. However, now that the sobriety of daylight hours is upon us I feel shy and a bit distant.

What you need to understand about me (as cliche as it sounds) is that I am just coming out of a very difficult relationship. He was charming and had a manly swagger that made him seem so different from the rest. I threw caution to the wind and became embroiled in an 8 year nightmare. He lied to me and chipped away at my self-esteem by trying to tell me that shopping would make everything better. He dismissed all of my concerns and, in the end, I forgot that I had rights of my own. He had convinced me that I should abdicate my rights and my responsibilities because he was stronger and he would take care of me. But when I needed him, he wasn't there. I lost my home. I lost my job... I don't mean to go on and on about it. My only point is to tell you why I am so leery of a new relationship right now.

I will admit that it is hard not falling in love with you. You're intelligent, accomplished and so confident. I've been burned by confidence before. I'm taking this slow because I don't want to put all of my faith in you only to have you betray me. I can handle it if you make an honest mistake, but I don't think I can take it if you deliberately hurt me. My therapist says that I need to rebuild my faith in myself so if you mess up it need not be a reflection on me. I'm trying.

I guess what I am saying, what I need to say out loud as many times as it takes until I believe it, is that you cannot save me. Only I can save me. I need to assert my own, personal power and solve the problems I need to solve. You can support me but I cannot place all of my hopes and my burdens on you because the only one who can truly heal me is me. If you prove to be a good support, I will cherish our relationship. If you don't, well, Gloria Gaynor said it best. I will survive.


I have voted for you. You talk a great game. If you are truly good for me you won't ever let me forget that the true power rests with me. You are not my savior but my servant. That is the relationship I want. It is the relationship I deserve. I hope you really meant it when you said, "Yes we can" because I did.

Love,

The United States of America