Dear Obama,

Last night was amazing. It has been a long time since I have felt so good, and you... you said all the right things. I think I got carried away in the moment. We both did. We said a lot of things to one another in the heat of the moment. I don't regret them. Not at all. However, now that the sobriety of daylight hours is upon us I feel shy and a bit distant.

What you need to understand about me (as cliche as it sounds) is that I am just coming out of a very difficult relationship. He was charming and had a manly swagger that made him seem so different from the rest. I threw caution to the wind and became embroiled in an 8 year nightmare. He lied to me and chipped away at my self-esteem by trying to tell me that shopping would make everything better. He dismissed all of my concerns and, in the end, I forgot that I had rights of my own. He had convinced me that I should abdicate my rights and my responsibilities because he was stronger and he would take care of me. But when I needed him, he wasn't there. I lost my home. I lost my job... I don't mean to go on and on about it. My only point is to tell you why I am so leery of a new relationship right now.

I will admit that it is hard not falling in love with you. You're intelligent, accomplished and so confident. I've been burned by confidence before. I'm taking this slow because I don't want to put all of my faith in you only to have you betray me. I can handle it if you make an honest mistake, but I don't think I can take it if you deliberately hurt me. My therapist says that I need to rebuild my faith in myself so if you mess up it need not be a reflection on me. I'm trying.

I guess what I am saying, what I need to say out loud as many times as it takes until I believe it, is that you cannot save me. Only I can save me. I need to assert my own, personal power and solve the problems I need to solve. You can support me but I cannot place all of my hopes and my burdens on you because the only one who can truly heal me is me. If you prove to be a good support, I will cherish our relationship. If you don't, well, Gloria Gaynor said it best. I will survive.


I have voted for you. You talk a great game. If you are truly good for me you won't ever let me forget that the true power rests with me. You are not my savior but my servant. That is the relationship I want. It is the relationship I deserve. I hope you really meant it when you said, "Yes we can" because I did.

Love,

The United States of America